Best Movie Theatres

Let's face it, folks, in this age of streaming and pants-optional movie-watching (don't lie, we've all done it), the humble movie theatre has to work extra hard to get us off our comfy couches. But fear not, intrepid cinephiles of Ontario! Our province is packed with places to catch the latest blockbusters and forgotten classics, from the gloriously futuristic to the charmingly ancient. So grab your suspiciously sticky popcorn, and let's embark on a ridiculously subjective tour of Ontario's silver screens!

The "New Kids on the Block" (with suspiciously comfortable recliners)

Ah, the modern multiplex. These gleaming temples of cinematic indulgence have truly upped their game. Gone are the days of sticky floors and seats designed for maximum back pain. Now, it's all about the VIP experience, where you can practically order a three-course meal while someone else gasp cleans up your spilled soda.

• The "Luxury Recliner Oasis" (aka Imagine Cinemas Market Square & Friends): If you haven't experienced the sheer bliss of a fully reclining cinema seat, you haven't truly lived. Imagine Cinemas, particularly their Market Square location, is often lauded for these plush thrones. You could practically take a nap in there – which, let's be honest, sometimes happens during particularly long superhero sagas. The only downside? Trying to gracefully exit your recliner after two hours of pure comfort. It's like disembarking from a cloud, only with the added challenge of not tripping over your own feet while carrying a half-eaten bag of dill pickle chips.
• The "I'm Too Cool for Popcorn" Boutiques (e.g., TIFF Bell Lightbox): For those who prefer their cinematic experience with a side of intellectual gravitas (and perhaps a locally sourced kombucha), the TIFF Bell Lightbox is your jam. It's sleek, it's stylish, and you're pretty sure you saw a famous director's doppelganger in the lobby. The popcorn here probably has artisanal sea salt, and you might accidentally learn something while you're there. Just try not to loudly ask, "Is that Benedict Cumberbatch or just a really tall, well-dressed person?"
• The "Mega-plex of Mass Consumption" (looking at you, Cineplex Yonge & Dundas): This is where you go when you want options. All the options. Twenty-four screens of pure cinematic chaos! You could watch a rom-com, then a horror flick, then a documentary about competitive cheese rolling, all within the same building. Just be prepared for the sensory overload and the distinct possibility of losing your friends in the labyrinthine hallways. Also, the sheer volume of humanity means you'll probably encounter at least one person who insists on narrating the movie for their entire row. Bless their hearts.

The "Vintage Vanguards" (where the ghosts of movie past might just offer you a buttered roll)

Now, let's turn our gaze to the grand dames of Ontario's cinema scene. These aren't just theatres; they're time machines, whispering tales of flickering projectors and audience members who actually dressed up to see a movie.

• The "Grand Old Dame with Character" (The Revue Cinema, Toronto): Toronto's oldest standing movie theatre, the Revue, is a testament to perseverance (and probably a lot of duct tape in the early days, who knows?). It's got that undeniable vintage charm, a feeling that if the walls could talk, they'd tell you about silent film stars and forbidden romances. Just don't expect stadium seating or a "dine-in" option. You'll be lucky if the person in front of you isn't wearing a hat that obscures half the screen. But hey, it's authentic!
• The "Museum-slash-Movie-House" (Highlands Cinemas, Kinmount): This place isn't just a theatre; it's an experience. Part cinema, part movie memorabilia museum, it's the kind of spot where you half expect to see a dusty old projector suddenly spring to life and show you a film from 1928. It's wonderfully quirky, a little bit eccentric, and probably still takes cash only, just to keep things retro.
• The "Drive-In Dream" (Starlite, 5 Drive-In, Mustang, etc.): Ah, the drive-in. The ultimate throwback! Pile the family into the minivan, load up on questionable snacks from home (because concession stand prices are an art form in themselves), and watch a double feature under the stars. The audio might be a bit crackly, you might get attacked by mosquitoes, and your car battery might die if you forget to run the engine, but there's a certain undeniable magic to it. Plus, you can wear your pajamas, and no one will judge you. Unless your car windows are down. Then they might.

So, which is the "Best"?

Honestly, it depends on your cinematic mood. Do you crave the plush comfort of a modern recliner, the intellectual stimulation of an art house, or the nostalgic charm of a bygone era? Ontario has it all, from the "press-a-button-for-service" new age to the "hope-the-projector-doesn't-catch-fire" old guard.

No matter your preference, one thing's for sure: a trip to the movies in Ontario is always an adventure. Just remember to bring a sense of humor, a healthy appetite for popcorn (regardless of its artisanal status), and maybe a portable phone charger for when you inevitably get lost trying to find your way out of the mega-plex. Happy movie-going, Ontario!